Whether you are dealing with codependency yourself, or with a friend or family member, there are is one thing that you should understand as well as a few steps that you should follow. First, there is no cure for codependency. This psychological epidemic is passed from generation to generation within families as a desire to get along or simply out of habit, and the only way to solve this problem is through breaking the habit and total understanding. Codependency is one of those psychiatric issues that can open a person up to abusive, destructive, and manipulative behavior and place a lot of strain on the relationships around them.
One of the biggest things you can do to not only help a family member, but yourself deal with codependency is to understand the problem. There are many factors that not only create codependency in people as well as the psychology behind the behavior. You may have tried to talk to your family or friend and found they weren’t all too receptive to the idea that they are codependent, and you may have noticed that it made things worse. This is due to the idea that codependency as a disorder and many people don’t want to accept there is anything wrong with them or their relationships. Forcing this can make things worse and they may not be in the same place that you are with their issue.
This is an effective way to help your family member or friend, become un-manipulatable and stand firm. This means that you become accepting of their ways and hope they see the problems that surround them. Leaving reading material or talking about their codependency will only make things worse or cause them to withdraw, however if you pull away from assisting them in changing you may actually make progress. The act of withdrawing your assistance can bring about a lot of changes in the ones you want to help as their human nature will take over and they may be able to see the things you were telling them before.
Disguise Your Way of Saying “No”
Saying no in a harsh way or an emotionally charged way is something that will coheres a codependent person into being codependent. Instead of just saying no, simply look for a better way of disguising it so that the no is implied but obviously there without an emotional tie. For example, ‘Sorry, I cannot do that’ or ‘I understand that our view points are different, I believe we are at an impasse’. There is no negative connotations that can cause the codependent person to become emotional over.