If you suspect someone is cheating on you, then figuring out if they are lying is the first step toward discovering the truth. Here’s the problem: most people don’t have a lie detector just lying around that they can use.
There are, however, certain tells that people display when they are lying that you can pick up on. Here are the clues to watch for.
1. Changing Stories
The easiest way to spot a lie is when someone changes their story. It is very difficult for a liar to keep all of their stories straight over a long time period. Although truthful stories can change as well, honesty creates consistency in the story, while lying creates inconsistency.
2. Shifting Eyes
People who are lying and not used to the discomfort the action causes tend to look downward in the direction of their dominant hand. A left-handed person when lying, for example, would look down and to the left, failing to make eye contact with you.
3. Physical Changes
Lying can cause some people to blush. Others might blink their eyes more rapidly or flare their nostrils. When these changes are combined with other traits listed here, you might be being told a lie.
4. Repeating Your Questions
An easy way to stall for time is to repeat questions you’ve just asked. This is also an active listening skill, so take care in leveling an accusation. If every question is repeated, however, you might want to look for these other clues as well.
5. Added Words
People who lie often and comfortably tend to use unnecessary superlatives when they speak. This is done to bolster a story or argument because it feels like it has extra validity.
6. Shutting Down
If someone refuses to speak with you about their behavior, this could be considered a lie of omission. People who shut down a conversation, change subjects frequently, or just leave the room could be lying.
If you suspect your partner is lying, then they might try to make you believe that you’re lying to yourself. Gaslighting is a very common method used by liars who try to get people to question the validity of their own thoughts.
Lying is not always easy to detect. There may be legitimate reasons for why people act a certain way, even if it seems like they are cheating. Put all these clues together, look for evidence, and trust your gut instincts.