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Home Overcoming Limerence

Overcoming Limerence

Limerence pertains to involuntary emotional and cognitive state described by intrusive thinking and longing for sensitivity and reciprocation to external events that signify hope or uncertainty in relation to a desire or person. This also pertains to obsessed or infatuated state towards another person. The intense desire for the reciprocation of individual’s feelings but not mainly for sexual relationships is the most dominant aspect of this condition.

Symptoms of Limerence

1. Involuntary thoughts and obsessive thinking.
2. Heavy fantasizing.
3. Sudden emotion or mood swings.
4. Extreme fear for rejection.
5. Ongoing hope and desire for reciprocation.
6. Sexual attraction and imagination most commonly seeing yourself having sex with someone.
7. Emotional dependency on particular person.
8. Shyness when a loved one is around.
9. Realizing that everything can possibly relate back to someone you love such as music.
10. Rearranging priorities.
11. Dreams concerning your targeted object.
12. Loss of appetite and sleep but not applicable to all.
13. Increased sexual desire or drive.
14. Viewing loved one as a Goddess or God.

How to Overcome Limerence

A listing of ways to help you overcome this condition.

1. Severe interactions with objects of limerence. Break the physical connection leading to emotional independence. The action of separation helps individuals realize that they are already having control over their state.

2. Analyze acts of friendliness or kindness and keep yourself reminded that these are not indications of reciprocation. An individual with limerence depends on the hope that the object of her and his desire will eventually come around. Once you practice not to cling on this hope, it would be easier to move forward and recover.

3. Distract yourself from this kind of thinking with educational enrichment, hobbies and work. You may notice that harnessing energy that you previously used is directed towards success in other particular areas of your life. This will in turn lessen instability of emotion and lower self worth that can fuel the feeling of intense desire.

4. Prepare a list of undesirable features displayed by the object of limerence. The purpose is not to turn your object into its worst image but rather to see that person as flawed or just an ordinary person. This aid in reinforcing the idea that establishing the idea of being into a relationship with this person will not make you feel fulfilled and happy.

5. The next thing you can do to help you overcome this condition is to make the list of your qualities that your significant other will value. This will unrequited the feelings so if you try to learn and value your qualities and strengths, it will be less likely for you to develop the emotional attachment.

Jun 15, 2014-Flow Psychology Editor
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